"Detective."
"Whatever. If you want a confession, you'll shut your yap and let me talk without all these silly corrections." The detective sighed and only watched me. I know I'm getting on his nerves and it makes me want to smile. He's cute but an idiot obviously. When a suspect is willing to talk, they should just shut up and let the suspect ramble. One would think he never watched a murder documentary.
"It all began on Twitter--"
"You mean X?"
"I will stop calling it Twitter when that fool of a Musk stops deadnaming his daughter and means it."
"We both know that will never happen."
"Exactly. Now, I will start again, no more interruptions."
* * *
It all began on Twitter. I had made some author friends and we would joke around and share in each other's writing accomplishments and disappointments. At some point, I had become friends with Anthony. He was another author, some weird comic thingy, a full time dad, I don't know but that wasn't good enough for him. He also started a podcast. We Have Issues. Ha! Don't we all?
"What does --"
"Shut up, I'm talking now." Where was I? Oh yes, Anthony. Podcasts, a graphic novel (okay, I'll admit the cover is cute) and like seventeen thousand followers. Do you know how hard it is to get a following like that on Twitter?
"X."
"Shut up or else." Cops these days. Anyways, I started noticing a thing about Anthony. He would start these posts with a really fun twist on something and make it sound like it would be released in the fall. Like this one. It sounds like it would be a fun story.
"Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hide and Seek. I guess so."
"What do you know about writers anyways?"
"I know Anthony LaFauci is missing and everyone says you were the last one to see him. Where is he?"
Do all cops have a one track mind or just the one I have to deal with right now? The only thing this one has going for him is that he's cute. As I said, we were Twitter writer friends and he's just throwing these ideas around while I've been working hard on this novel. Honestly, what author just throws ideas around like that for anyone to steal? And he had his greatest idea not long ago so it really is his own fault he's missing. All he had to do was stop tweeting (don't even think of correcting me, officer) his ideas as they came to him and he never would have gone missing.
"What did you do with him?"
"Do you think I'm stupid, Officer? What proof have you given me that you are even a real cop? How do I know you aren't a writer and didn't borrow that costume from a cop family member to get the information out of me so you can hide him to win?"
"Why would I want to do that?"
Why indeed? Anthony never got around to saying what you would win if you hid the author the longest. Perhaps I should have been more patient with him but it sounded so fun. Maybe it's part of my undiagnosed ADHD brain that just wanted to jump in and get started. Just look at all these story ideas and half finished yarn projects that litter my room. Stealing Anthony away was easy. I waited until he got the sitter situated and then followed him. Once we were secluded, I got him with the Vulcan neck pinch. Did you know that doesn't actually work? Luckily, a swift kick to the nards and a hood over his head made it possible for me to toss him in the trunk. I managed it, I guess my broken brain pumping adrenaline this evening is really helping. I wish it would do that when I really want it to. I drove for hours, the music up loud so I wouldn't hear the thumping in the back. It was almost dawn but we finally reached the rundown cabin. I let out a nostalgic sigh as it reminded me of the cabin from that movie with Bruce Campbell. I wonder if Anthony minds being the Cellar Hag until his contest is over.
"So I just find your cabin and then I'll find Anthony."
"Small problem with that, Officer. I don't own any property. For one, a Canadian owning property in the States would add tax complications I don't want to think about. And two, best of luck to trying to win the competition."
The End?
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